Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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