I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
