eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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