I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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