i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
