I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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