question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
