please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
