I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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