I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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