you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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