1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
