My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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