I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize