speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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