I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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