Grow some girl-balls and come out already
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
