I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
