I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
