he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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