the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
