ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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