carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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