I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
well most of my day revolves around power hour
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i believe in u and ur pee
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
