Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my being single is dangerous.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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