Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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