R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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