I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
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Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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