? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
