Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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