The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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