theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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