Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
