Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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