You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
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I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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