I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
