You're so nebulous sometimes
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
