she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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