The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
