I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
