He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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