yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
People in love make me want to vomit
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
