oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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