Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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