please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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