she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We got so high we made milksteak
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
