.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
