it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I AM VODKA MAN
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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