Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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