I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
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I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's shark week go big or go home
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...