I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
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Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
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hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.