i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
