It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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