What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
