My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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