my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We are two peas in an std pod
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
