i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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