Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
