You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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