im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i already hear my dad disowning me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize