I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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