just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
