I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
