But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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