This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
