if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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