I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
