I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
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He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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